“Along Stowell Street and up to Gallowgate, hemmed in by the illicit, everything mam would scold you for; men weaving through traffic, a chuffing of tabs, the fucketty-twat, rat-a-tat swearing, pie-flecked gobs crooning mayhem. A half of orange squash at fart height outside the Strawberry and it is ten to three and tears are prickling and panic clenches and you cannot swallow but the rush is on and you bolt it.” Blizzard

“I’ve always wondered what would happen if the bears from Goldilocks sipped porridge and sat around watching a soccer game. Papa Bear, a Louis van Gaal disciple, would say ‘this team plays too defensively.’ Mama Bear, ever the optimistic moderate, would proclaim ‘this team plays just right.’ Baby Bear, exposed to José Mourinho at too young and impressionable age, would say ‘this team doesn’t play defensive enough.’ In the second leg of last night’s Liga MX final, Papa Bear would have been right. At least, in regard to Tigres. While the challengers boasted one of Liga MX’s best defenses this past season, as we noted earlier, goals win championships in Mexico, not clean sheets. Tigres beat Club América 1-0 on Thursday in leg one because rather than dropping deep, it advanced its lines and took the game to the Aguilas.” Soccer Gods

“In 1896, the Modern Olympic games officially kicked off in Athens, Greece. It was a seminal moment in international sporting history and one that still affects us today. What if Pierre de Coubertin and his cohort of idealistic supporters had given up on the Olympic dream? What if stars such as Jesse Owens, Muhammad Ali and Usain Bolt were never given the opportunity to showcase their skills in front of the world? It’s a thought too unsettling to hold for too long. Yes the 1896 Olympics were a landmark moment in more ways than one…there is just one problem however. There was no football in 1896. In fact, football was most likely unheard of by many people in Greece in 1896. The beautiful game was still in its infancy in England and had not yet become the global phenomena it is today. By 1896 it had hardly become a regional phenomena.” Outside of the Boot

“Ah, semifinals – the bastard children of playoffs. Not quite a championship game, so therefore worthless to most neutral fans. And for most regular Liga MX fans, the warmth and glow of making the liguilla has worn off. Your team has either lost or finds itself in a dogfight. Thus, we’re left with four pretty evenly matched teams whose fate probably will be decided more by luck than skill. In fact, only four points separated the semifinalists in the regular season: América finished first with 31 points; Monterrey was sixth, with 27.” Soccer Gods

“To choose to do this away to Germany’s second best team and seal top spot in Group H was wonderful. All the frustration of a stuttering start to the season poured out as the blues, albeit with some luck along the way, put in an almost perfect away performance to underline just how dangerous an opponent we can be for anybody in the Europa league. No-one is going to fancy playing us when the draw is made. No Coleman, no Baines as two of Europe’s finest attacking wing-backs added to the absence of arguably our most influential player, Gareth Barry. Coupled with James McCarthy limping off injured after half an hour, this win was even more impressive than it may have looked.” The Football Pink

“A YEAR IN REVIEW – WEEK THREE OF FIVE. A review of Our watch list for 2014 (list published on December 18, 2013). All artwork by Michael Atkinson. Click on a name below to read the review. Explanation of how we score? Click here. In Bed With Maradona

“You always hurt the one you love. Maybe that works in reverse as well. For many of us there comes a time when it becomes clear the thing you do for fun, the thing you think you love is doing you great harm. Whether it’s the MDMA user seeing a picture of themselves ‘on it’—pupils the size of snooker balls with their jaw on the other side of the dance floor—or the gym rat waking up one day to find himself alone apart from his ‘guns’ and protein shake induced flatulence. These moments act as a mental jolt: a little shock to the system that allows us to take a step back and see our lives for what they really are. If we don’t like what we see then this is a chance to change our behaviour.” The False Nine

“‘Diminutive, derisory, pulsating and profligate sit with almost absurd comfort in the footballing vernacular,’ notes author Adam Hurrey in the introduction to his delightful Football Clichés book, adding, ‘while I struggle to remember anyone using the word aplomb in any other context than a well-taken goal’. Thus begins a meticulously detailed dissection of the well-worn phrases with which players, managers, media and fans fight the losing battle of conveying football’s drama through mere words. This new hardback, published by Headline, is a forensic and thorough examination of football’s language.” Telegraph

amazon: Football Clichés by Adam Hurrey