Kicker Conspiracy: Football Beyond The Euros, Hornby & Banter


“International football tournaments come around so quickly these days. Maybe it’s a consequence of getting older, but the PASSION!-themed TV advertising seems to start as the ears are still ringing with the previous competition’s sententious punditry. Sure enough, I’m still recovering from my twenty-ninth birthday – involving a Pennine reservoir’s-worth of booze and a 2010 World Cup quarter-final penalty shoot-out soundtracked experimentally with Mahler’s Tragische Symphony No. 6 – and the Poland-Ukraine European Championships are getting underway. The media are microwaving their xenophobic patter, and part-time fans across England are consulting their WKD sides to escape those long-scheduled family christenings to watch the group matches down the local. Banter, endless bloody banter, drifts through the window on the breeze to chisel away that vestige of the life-force left intact by the Jubilympics. It must be hellish if you don’t like football.” The Quietus

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