“The reason I can attach a title as vitriol-inspiring and inaccurate as the one above is because no such person can exist, by any standard. Pele? Zidane? Maradona? Cruyff? What about Clint Dempsey (kidding…sort of)? The debate rages, without any hope of ever coming to a consensus. So instead of casting my lot with the rest of despairing humanity, I’m sloughing off the bounds of biology and physics and building my own footballer, Mary Shelley style. Selecting eleven factors that I believe to be the most important when building a great player, I set to work in a virtual Gothic mansion, shrouded in storm clouds and ringing with echoes of my own maniacal laughter.” The Other 87