“Like a kid at Christmas, the waiting has been unbearable. The restless nights and the days filled with anticipation, before the moment finally arrives and you have the presents in your hands. Similarly, after waiting and waiting the Premier League finally got under way on Saturday and the days worth of football didn’t disappoint, with the possible exception of my team Aston Villa, who due to confusion surrounding the kick-off time failed to turn up and instead submitted eleven Madame Tussauds waxworks in the starting line-up.” (Three Match Ban)