Hump Day Dumpster Dive: Manchester United must free political prisoner Victor Valdés

“Is the international break over yet? This one felt like it lasted for an eternity, and we should all be happy to see the back of it. Sport fandom is hysterical enough as it is without the added dangers of fervent nationalism. Mexico beat U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! in the Border Wall Cup, the Netherlands joined Vatican City as literally the only countries in Europe not to qualify for the newly-expanded Euro 2016, and your favorite club’s best player probably picked up an injury. What a time to be alive. Let’s dive into the dumpster, shall we?” Fusion

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