“Roy of the Rovers was as bigger part of my childhood as football stickers and near constant rejection by women. I looked forward to Melchester Rovers weekly adventures more than ‘Arry Redknapp looks forward to a transfer window. I was an addict and mum was the dealer, scoring for me every Wednesday so I could consume the whole magazine as soon as I got home from school. I once had a letter printed asking what Roy thought his transfer value was in the light of Chris Waddle’s £4.5m transfer to Marseille, I’m not sure the birth of my first child will top the feeling.” (I Know Who Cyrille Makanaky Was)