“What do you call a match that had eight goals, was played at Red Bull-on-an-IV-drip pace, and featured breathtaking passing movements executed at fast-forward speed? A match that had the heartwarming rise of one of Britain’s best young talents, a telepathic assist from a man with a very strange hairline, a world-class performance from one of the hottest strikers in Europe, The Reducer’s favorite kind of goal celebration, and a cameo from Epithetus, the Greek god of alleged racial abuse? Why, it’s the match of the season, comrades! Arsenal and Chelsea had a throwdown on Saturday, with the Gunners winning, away. 5-3. And it was one of the great football matches in recent memory.” Grantland (Video)