Scissors Kick

“Put simply, In Bed with Maradona has defined football blogging in recent years. Founded in 2010, the site isn’t the longest lived on the scene, but it rivals the Frick Collection itself in its sheer eclecticism. Acting as a welcoming platform to a host of impressive writers as well as the occasional mediocre one, the good humoured openness of Jeff Livingstone and his team has provided a rallying point for those interested in the less travelled byways of the game, while a thin layer of streetwise cool has prevented the site from sliding full scale into geekdom.” thetwounfortunates

Football vividly captured, illustrated and written in gold.
“In Bed With Maradona (IBWM), is certainly not your average football site, nor are they only obsessed about ‘El Pibe’ or the Brazilian midfield maestro Sócrates. They’re leaders in a growing direction of a football writing that transcends time, which we often like to call ‘philosofooty’. IBWM explores the cultural heart of the game, extracting stories that are unlikely to be found anywhere else.” A Football Report

The First Two Years Jeff Livingstone
“Growing up in North East England in the late 1970s and early ‘80s, football was a trip to St James’ Park to see my local team, Newcastle United. While it was cheap for my dad to take me, the standard of football in the old English Second Division wasn’t the greatest. Uninspiring? Maybe, but it didn’t matter.” Ockley Books

“Football is full of what ifs. What if Jonathan Howard’s “goal” for Chesterfield had been given against Middlesbrough in the 1997 FA Cup final? What if Fergie had decided Cantona was too much of a risk to sign? What if Spurs’s chef had opted for a vegetarian curry instead of a lasagne before that game? And what if Paul Tisdale had taken the Swansea job…” thetwounfortunates

“The serious lack of imagination shown by Football League chairmen continues to fuel the managerial carousel. Almost three years ago, we were bemused by Paul Hart’s arrival at Crystal Palace while the likes of Alan Irvine, Brian Laws and Darren Ferguson played musical chairs. Two and a half years on and it’s Dougie Freedman, Mick McCarthy and Dave Jones making sideways moves, as well as Laws again. The message is – don’t be out of a job for too long or you’ll be viewed as yesterday’s man.” thetwounfortunates

“Three new essays to feast on as the month draws to a close: The New Best or Best Forgotten? The Rise and Fall of Lee Sharpe, The 90s Football Party; Hunting in Pairs: Vialli and Mancini, Sampdoria, Regista; Real Oviedo – the remarkable story of a club the world united to save, The Guardian. thetwounfortunates

“Our Great Teams series of posts, soon to be augmented with its fortieth episode, has occasionally been joined by an occasional look back to those top flight seasons where it all came together in wondrous fashion for clubs more accustomed to life in less exalted company. In February, Adam Orton recalled Norwich City’s valiant heroes of the early nineties while just a couple of years before, Crystal Palace were the ones defying gravity. Here, we are delighted to welcome Terry Duffelen for his first post for us. many of you will know Terry as co-pundit on the always listenable Sound of Football podcast and he also devotes considerable time to analysis of the Bundesliga, both via the Bundesliga Show pod and the Bundesliga Lounge blog.” thetwounfortunates

“Politicians like to talk about the squeezed middle – a concept that focus groups tell them plays well to a hard-working and hard-pressed often middle class demographic who have done nothing wrong financially but find the costs of living creeping ever further up so, through no fault of their own, fall towards the poverty line. It may make for a catchy soundbite at party conferences but said squeeze is also an apt description for a very real growing issue of financing for lower league football clubs, specifically from the exact middle messrs Cameron, Clegg and Miliband are pitching for votes from.” thetwounfortunates

“The optimism with which the season began didn’t take long to evaporate. Perhaps they were just another dispiriting example of modern football’s culture of instant gratification, but the boos that greeted the half-time whistle in our opening match at home to Blackpool were loud and clear. In what some might refer to as a quirk of the fixture list, this opening match was a repeat of that which ended the previous campaign. The visitors went about both games in their usual way: urgent going forward, with the ever-present danger of meltdown at the back. There was, however, a world of difference between the two performances from the home side.” The Two Unfortunates

“On Saturday, I was fortunate enough to take in my first Major League Soccer encounter as Portland Timbers took on DC United – the first game I have seen outside the UK since my attendance at the 1993 Champions League Final in Munich. The Oregonians are very much darlings of the footballing blogosphere, having become the subject of a wonderful podcast, Mao’s Football Show, been the subject of a cracking piece from its deviser Michael Orr in Issue Zero of the Blizzard and been subject to much praise for its fan culture in a series of posts at the excellent Pitch Invasion blog – indeed, a clutch of these appeared in Tom Dunmore’s book which we reviewed in January. But what can British football – and in particular the Football League – learn from Major League soccer? On this evidence – a lot.” thetwounfortunates

“Feeling queasy at the increased commercialisation of football is an experience common to us all, but a definite ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ mood has prevailed in recent years. Indeed, sponsorship has become yet another facet of the game to get nostalgic about – a marvellous post at the Football Attic recently confirmed the fact that certain advertisers seem to ‘suit’ certain clubs. Hence, JVC will always be associated with Arsenal and a Liverpool shirt minus the legend ‘Crown Paints’ simply isn’t kosher.” thetwounfortunates

“(With pre-emptive apologies to Harry Pearson – it’s impossible to have read The Far Corner and write about non-league football (and non-league football in the North-East, especially) without succumbing to the temptation to imitate his style…) My home town Morpeth – securely and perhaps smugly middle-class – is located at something of a crossroads. Leave the self-styled ‘ancient market town’ and venture north or west in the direction of the Scottish border and you find yourself in the romantic ‘Northumbria’ of the postcards and tourist brochures: mile upon mile of unpopulated scenic countryside, picturesque castles and expansive, unspoilt, golden beaches.” thetwounfortunates

“So Football is officially dead then – beside images of sideburns, NHS celebrations, Kenneth Branagh in a top hat, a Somali-born hero, David Rudisha, the lightning bolt and the tranquil surrounds of ‘Eton Dorney’, the game has lost its sheen – embattled as it was when Freddie Flintoff inspired an Embrace song in 2005 and Jonny drop kicked that ball two years before. Well maybe – but we still feel there are reasons to celebrate the return of the round ball – and the Football League in particular. Hence, Lanterne Rouge (LR), Lloyd (LL) and John McGee (JM) have been called upon to provide 10 reasons why the resumption of hostilities is to be welcomed this blisteringly hot August Saturday.” thetwounfortunates

“… Any football fan naive enough to believe in the fairytale of the foreign-investor-as-knight-in-shining-armour need only look at the parlous state of Blackburn Rovers to be brought to their senses. John Williams, Tom Finn and Martin Goodman felt compelled to express their extreme concern just two months after Venky’s takeover, and events since – culminating in relegation to the Championship in May – have only gone to prove that if there’s an inverse of a panacea, then Venky’s are it.” thetwounfortunates

“Multiculturalism has become an inordinately loaded concept in recent years – like ‘health and safety’ and ‘political correctness’, it’s a marvel how a presumably once positive set of values has now been branded with negative connotations. As Stewart Lee once said, ‘you can’t even write racial abuse in excrement on someone’s car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat’. When in doubt, ‘blame the effing Muslims’.” thetwounfortunates

“Wycombe Wanderers may be but a nobbut middling sort of team supported by a load of middle-class scout leaders, but we do seem to attract a few names to our humble valley: men who have come from, or gone on to, much better things, whether that be the Premiership, Scottish championships, Europe, or international management. Here are the high and lowlights of our helmsmen since I’ve been a supporter…” thetwounfortunates

“In April, David Rawson caught the imagination of football’s online community with a striking post following the arrival of Steve Evans at Rotherham United. Here, with the Yorkshire club about to take up residency in a new stadium and with the new season a month away, David is in wistful mood…” thetwounfortunates

“… Dean Mansell’s website The Away End is based on a simple premise: fans meet online to swap and share their various experiences from following their clubs across the country. For his first book – also titled The Away End – Mansell has taken the very best of these stories and compiled them into a single volume. The author (a disingenuous title – Mansell has only contributed two articles to the book himself; the title ‘editor’ feels more appropriate) claims ‘the experience in a modern day away end is not quite like it used to be in the good old days of football’ and despite around half of the tales taking place in a contemporary setting, The Away End would appear to be his attempt to embrace and re-engage with ‘terrace culture’ from a bygone era. Mansell rejects the vapid commercialism and globalisation of the modern game, defiantly stating: ‘This was and still is a working man’s game.’ Needless to say, the words ‘prawn sandwiches’ appear more than once.” thetwounfortunates

“Reading’s extraordinary canter to the Championship title provokes inevitable comparison with the feat of their forebears of half a decade ago. The 106 points amassed by that vintage set a record and if we are yet to cover the 2005-6 Royals in our Great Football League Teams series, that’s not to ignore the best second tier XI of all time.” thetwounfortunates

“Late March, and if you listen carefully you can – in the parlance of a certain puce-cheeked knight of the realm – hear the sound of bums starting to squeak. So, time to cast an eye over the teams who this May are most likely to be swapping the preening pros, plastic fans and prawn sandwiches of the Premier League for the Bovril, goal celebration music and cheerleaders of the Championship. In descending order…” thetwounfortunates

“Ian Holloway’s introduction of three substitutes in the 64th minute of yesterday’s 3-1 defeat at Reading seemed like a strange tribute to Barry Fry, master of the ‘threeplacement’ in his heyday at Birmingham City. That said, it’s also a sign of one of Blackpool’s major problems this season; a campaign that has, nonetheless, been punctuated with lots of good things.” thetwounfortunates

Hubert Robert – Architectural Composition with the Pantheon
“I know what you’re already thinking. That I’m going to argue something entirely inarguable. That in between skimming the dressing room copies of Nuts and Zoo the average Premier League footballer is more likely to clutch a well thumbed copy of Ayn Rand’s hymn to self interest, ‘Atlas Shrugged’ than the collected writings of Tony Crosland. And you’d be right of course. Modern football is awash with greed – with car swerving prima-donna Ashley Cole its own John Galt – a rifle toting poster boy for the ‘we’ll do what we like’ generation.” thetwounfortunates

“Over recent months, we have called upon regular followers of non-league football in order to guess at which players might stand a chance of forging a career in the Football League, should they wish to take the opportunity. First up was Michael Hudson; the proprietor of The Accidental Groundhopper website running the rule over the Northern League. Then, Barry from The Cold End highlighted the Isthmian League’s potentialities. Now, regular TTU staffer Scarf analyzes those players operating in the most likely breeding ground of all, while sharing his forthright views following half a season’s Conference watching.” thetwounfortunates

“One of this website’s latest followers on Twitter, Simeon F. W. Pickup states his interests as ‘Reading FC, Atheism, Labour. In that order.’ Although Ed Miliband’s negligible impact on the polls may have something to do with his party being relegated behind Brian McDermott and Richard Dawkins in Simeon’s thinking, I did read this as tongue in cheek. Nonetheless, therein lies a message.” thetwounfortunates

Goalkeeper: Kelvin Davis
“Earlier this year, we analysed then Championship Queen’s Park Rangers in order to guess which of their stars might successfully negotiate the jump in standard once promotion was secured. Of course much of that thinking has been rendered moot by a squad overhaul that has left many of last year’s heroes either elsewhere or out of the team, although there is an argument that Alejandro Faurlin has confirmed our belief in his ability, that the jury is still deliberating on Adel Taarabt (well…a one man one at least) and that Sean Derry has defied the years and our lack of faith in him.” thetwounfortunates

“Following Keith Millen’s exit from the managerial post at Bristol City earlier this week, we are very pleased to welcome Paul Binning for our latest interview. Paul trades under the name @cider1977 on Twitter and runs the consistently enjoyable blog, The Exiled Robin. He also contributes a regular feature on social media and football that appears in the Bristol City matchday programme and I was lucky enough to pave the way for this conversation when I met Paul in person at Bedminster Cricket Club last week. Here are his thoughts on the interregnum at Ashton Gate…” thetwounfortunates

“Our latest conversation is with Danny Brothers, author of a number of posts for us including a look back at Northampton Town’s 1996-7 play-off winning side. Danny runs his own blog and this has the obligatory moniker, A Load of Cobblers, although he spreads his net beyond the watershed of the River Nene to League 2 as a whole, joining forces with our last interviewee Ben Mayhew and Maxi Hobbs for an enjoyable preview of the season back in August. Here, Danny gives us his views on Gary Johnson, Adebayo Akinfenwa, the challenge of the oval ball game and the club’s current home at Sixfields…” thetwounfortunates

“In June, Ben Piggott ran the rule over the fortunes of Football League players in that month’s European Under-21 Championship, with Aron Gunnarsson and Mikkel Andersen in particular enjoying less than fruitful campaigns. Now, the man behind the illustrations that adorn this website turns his attention to the recent Under-20 World Cup, a tournanment that has been covered expertly by Two Hundred Percent and ended up with a somewhat Lusophone finale…” thetwounfortunates

“Heading to Ryton for last Saturday’s Northern League Day, I was once again treated to one of the classic vistas of UK travel. The sweeping arc of the train as it approaches Newcastle upon Tyne is a dramatic one – the Tyne far below, Victorian palaces on the opposite shore, the Millennium Bridge and Baltic Arts Centre gleaming in the sunshine and St. James’ Park visible on the horizon. It seems a confident city these days; its smart central business district thronged with consumers, a quintessential regional centre.” the two unfortunates

“Some clubs are more keenly aware of their history than others. Despite the unkind but largely accurate chants sometimes aimed at us by opposing fans, Millwall is one of them. Take the annual Dockers’ Day celebration. Each season, a match is dedicated to the memory of the flat-capped stevedores and warehousemen from among whom much of the club’s support was drawn in the middle 20th century. A number of ex-dock workers are given the VIP treatment for the day and a team from the distant past is invited to provide autographs for fans, before the whole motley crew is paraded on the pitch.” thetwounfortunates

“It’s now over twenty years since the publishing of Simon Inglis’s seminal The Football Grounds of Great Britain, a book that predated Hillsborough and the first of the breed of stadia, Scunthorpe United’s Glanford Park. So, I thought it would be informative to analyze some of the successes of the subsequent period: an era that has seen great change impinge upon the game. Debate as to what the turning point was – the aforementioned disaster, the setting up of the Premier League, Italia 90, MDMA, all seaters, Fever Pitch and even Michael Thomas’s 1989 winner at Anfield for chrissakes – all have their apologists and the changes have often not been for the better but, as far as stadia is concerned, and away from Goodison or Fratton Park, our forefathers wouldn’t recognise the match going experience as we would. Which clubs have gotten it largely right?” (thetwounfortunates)

“We are delighted to publish below our first guest post from David Bevan, Head Honcho of the estimable new Football League website, The Seventy Two. It has been an enjoyable few weeks sharing ideas with David and we look forward to further fruitful cooperation. Here is David’s take on the early days of Sousa-ism at the Walkers.” (thetwounfortunates)

“Our week of 2010-11 previews starts here and, rather than sound off with our own views once again, we decided this year to canvass the opinion of fans of all the league clubs. Thankfully, we have been overwhelmed with a warm hearted response and no little wit. The Championship previews appear today in two parts, with Leagues 1 and 2 to follow later in the week. Here goes and needless to say, the opinions are those of the contributors and not necessarily The Two Unfortunates…” (thetwounfortunates), (TTU 2010/11: Season Preview: Championship (Part Two))

“I’ve started tweeting in earnest over the past few days, and while I can’t deny that it has plenty of shortcomings, I have definitely come across some interesting things that would have otherwise passed me by. I’ve learnt that Mark Kennedy won’t miss the smell of monster munch on the Cardiff team bus after he leaves South Wales and, perhaps more constructively, that European Football Weekends is an absolute cracker of a blog.” (thetwounfortunates)

“The Premier and Football Leagues reached a deal over restructured solidarity payments from the former’s coffers two weeks ago, but with the Play-Offs and pre-World Cup mutterings taking precedence there’s been frustratingly limited coverage of the landmark agreement in the national press.” (thetwounfortunates)

“Reading have ever been a club that have relied on momentum; in 2003 and 2007, they followed promotions with trailblazing seasons, but 1994-95 was just as monumental. The silky passing side constructed by Mark McGhee, Second Division Champions in 1994, immediately launched a challenge to go one better. ‘And now you’re going to believe us…we’re going up AGAIN’ was the refrain from the Elm Park terraces and not even the Scotsman’s Yuletide departure for Leicester, nor the initially underwhelming purchase of Lee Nogan – ‘no discernible attributes’, I remarked to a mate one March evening at the New Den – could stop the Royals reaching the play offs by season end.” (thetwounfortunates)

“I can’t be certain, but would hazard a guess that if at 5.45pm on Sunday 24th May 2009 you’d turned to me and cheerfully opined that relegation from the top flight should be welcomed as just the tonic my beloved Newcastle Utd needed, I’d have been inclined to disagree, possibly violently. Hindsight being a wonderful thing and all that, but you’d have been proven right. Far from being (as the mainstream media would have it) a nightmare in which we found ourselves ostracised from the ‘big time’ and haunted by former glories (well, near-glories), this season has actually proven to be one of the most enjoyable in living memory.” (thetwounfortunates)

City Ground 25 Sept 85
“From up on the north-western coast of England has come one of the surprise stories of the season. Very few people would have anticipated Blackpool surging into the Championship play-off places this season, but Ian Holloway’s team have managed it while other clubs with bigger ambitions such as Middlesbrough and Ipswich Town have struggled. Even though Holloway tends to divide opinion, few would deny his achievement in taking a club with an average home crowd of just over 8,000 – the second lowest in the division after Scunthorpe United – to the brink of a place in the Premier League. Blackpool’s geography means that a Premier League place may mean more to them than most – derby matches against Bolton Wanderers and Blackburn Rovers as well as matches against the four massive clubs from Liverpool and Manchester would lay in wait if they can negotiate their way through the play-offs.” (twohundredpercent)

The Thursday Preview: Blackpool Vs Nottingham Forest
“Speaking as a fan of a club that’s just been relegated, I am more than relieved to see the back of this season. It’s been an utterly forgettable campaign; one so full of misery that I’m physically struggling to muster the enthusiasm to log on to the messageboards and the like these days. What little interest I had left for 2009/2010 was effectively killed off by David Conn.” (thetwounfortunates)

Blackpool 2-1 Nottingham Forest – Video Highlights and Recap – Championship – 8 May 2010
“The English Championship began its promotion playoffs with the a first leg match between Blackpool and Nottingham Forest on Saturday, May 8, 2010. It should be a very competitive and fierce match with a chance to play in the Premier League on the line. Blackpool would host the first leg while Nottingham Forest is hosting the second in the midweek.” (The 90th Minute)

“The end of the season is a time to reflect on the nine months just gone. As we approach the season’s finale, it is time to consider: Who has overachieved, and who has flattered to deliver? Who has surprised us and who has underwhelmed us? Here we take a look at five clubs who have sparkled this year, and five more whose once bright lights have somewhat dimmed.” (thetwounfortunates)